Archive for June, 2008

The road goes ever on and on

Early morning steam

This journey will be unlike any I’ve ever been on, really.

In many ways it will be familiar — a long flight, a long layover in Atlanta, (as the niece of a Delta pilot I’ve enjoyed discount stand-by tickets for years, meaning I have spent many a long day in the Atlanta airport. It would be a lengthy entry in its own right about horror stories and also the joys of that, which perhaps will surface here in about four days when I am doing that very thing.) and the excitement for seeing a new place. The anxiousness, the checking and double checking packing lists, and the shaky sleep I will receive just before.

But in many ways it’s new. I disembark (and eventually return) to a new home, my new home, independent of school and my Mom’s house. I am visiting Anthony and going to Pride before we leave the country, which might be a strange taste-of-the-old-familiar. And then of course, leaving the country. (!!) I am struggling to pack for the two climates — hot and brutal in one location and pleasant and misty in the other. I am trying to gauge how much reading material to bring. Do I bring several smallish books or one big meaty one? I am grappling with what music to have with me on the plane and in the airport. How to remember everything. How to make sure I get everywhere on time.

But this is for the most part surface level worry-wart stuff, because mostly I am incredibly excited.

The other thing I would like to mention is this: I am packing serious snacks.

I have not done big air travel in several years. I was trying to remember if I have ever actually flown anywhere with Anthony and I don’t think I have, which is a little baffling considering all the places we have gone. He would be a great flying companion. But yes: the last few big vacations Anthony and I did were in the car, and before that it was via TRAIN, which was all sorts of exciting/not-even-remotely-timely.

But as I think I mentioned a few entries back, weekends often found us in different cities, particularly in Summer when there is more daylight. I have become a master of both the small and large ice chest, and always kept an eye out for good hardy cheeses, dried berries, bread, etc that one could bring to snack and picnic on. For one thing it saves you from making stops at gas stations (and as I’ve mentioned, that’s the way to travel if you can,) but it is also so much nicer to be in a meadow next to a stream somewhere on highway 36 eating really good Gouda and an apple vs. ripping open a bag of doritos. Much healthier too.

I’ve looked a little, but I’ve not found much writing on what people bring in terms of non-perishable foodsnacks on an airplane. Come on people, what’s your travel food? Mine is usually something savory, some sort of cheese, and something sweet. For the plane, I’m thinking the standard: crackers, dried cranberries, the like. I made a batch of granola last night which will be coming with. I really want to bring carrots as well, since I picked up some gorgeous ones at the farmer’s market last night, but I can’t figure out how I would swing that in a carry-on. I will probably put them in my checked luggage and then munch on them over the course of the four days in Colorado, where I can stick them in the fridge or something. I’m also a bit gutted that I can’t bring cheese but I also can’t figure out how I would do it, what with restrictions on gel and weird items that undoubetly include those blue freezer keep-you-lunch-cold things, although there is no mention of them on the website. I would ask a desk person on my way in, but I think overall I’d rather just Not Fight about stuff. Particularly since I suspect bringing homemade granola in a zippy bag will be weird enough. Do you think if I label it they won’t hassle me? One can hope.

Packing today. I leave tonight for Denver.

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Handmade bubblegum

It's starting to look like home

I took a load of stuff down to the dumpster a few nights back, and when I came back I noticed: oh! It’s starting to look like home. Yes it is.

THINGS THAT ARE GOOD AND THINGS THAT ARE LESS GOOD

GOOD: I went to the zoo last Friday! In part to get away from the nightmarish situation looming at home*, but also to enjoy the new SUNLIGHT that we hadn’t seen for six days. Many exhibits were closed or being remodeled, and I didn’t get to walk through the bird building, but I saw many other wonderful things. Such as a giraffe eating leaves out of a tree! This may not seem like a big deal to you, but most of the giraffes I have ever seen have been housed on vast plains of grass or, less admirably, in a kind of sandy pit with a big fence around it. If there were trees in these environments they were fake trees, or they had been dead for years due to too much love. Tough love. Tough giraffe love.

So it was neat to watch a giraffe stretch his big giraffey neck up and sticking his tongue out to pluck leaves out of the tree. I don’t think he was supposed to be plucking leaves out of the tree, these trees aren’t native African trees or anything, so hopefully he doesn’t get sick or in trouble. Maybe a leaf is a leaf though. It would be rather stupid to plant a toxic tree in the giraffe exhibit. Who knows.

Also, sea lions. “Steller” sea lions are aptly named — I don’t know I had ever seen any swimming mammal so large up close before. Gus and his friend (whose name I cannot remember) were ‘only’ weighing in at ~900 and ~1040 lbs., so they weren’t as giant as that little blurb wants them to be, but they were so large that I thought they were walruses when I first came into the exhibit. They have a view from above and below the water. The below-the-water view is a 20+ foot window, floor to ceiling, where Gus and his friend swim mellow circles up and down the tank. They were frighteningly large. Easily over 11 feet. His head was as big — bigger — than a tiger’s.

None of those pictures came out, which is a pity. The zoo has other neat things, like a fantastic fruit bat viewing spot. No tapir unfortunately. It’s a wonderful transit ride out, and located near some other nice outdoorsy stuff that I will undoubtedly need to explore.

LESS GOOD: Having an allergy festival at the zoo. Can allergies happen on alternate days? It seems like every other day I am apple cheeked, feisty, the poster-woman for respiratory wellness, walking through my neighborhood and all the plants in it saying, ha ha pollen! Do your worst! I will even do something foolish like call Anthony and say look! All better! And he will say really? Are you sure? Because the very next day I am pale, limp-wristed, stuffy nosed and riddled with sinus-headaches, sneezing eight times in a row (not joking) and worrying parents on the MAX. I wanted to go price baking stones on the way home but instead did not pass go, did not collect $200, and went right home for pj’s, tea and honey bread.

*LESS GOOD: Comcast charging you for a month of service, even though you canceled your service five weeks prior. Or you made motions to cancel, just called in to the 1-800 number and hung out on hold on three separate occasions for nothing, because apparently nothing was written in your account. Lots of phone conversations with helpless CSRs (not their fault, I know,) and lots of cell phone calls to people who were supposed to take care of this. Lots of wailing and gnashing of teeth. There was nothing I could do about it, since the equipment they needed was in the hands of my peeps in Colorado, so I can’t say “yes I will go return it THIS MOMENT,” but instead I have to say “Well, I’ll call them and wait.” And then I did a lot of waiting, because apparently several cell phone messages at much-earlier-than-normal saying URGENT URGENT PLEASE TAKE ACTION NOW also apparently have no real meaning. People will hear this and go ho hum, what? They’re asking you for money on an account you closed? Huh. Bummer, dude. The bill is overdue? Meh.

I must have a subliminal message on my cell phone that says PLEASE IGNORE EVERYTHING I SAY. That is the only logical explanation I have for this.

GOOD: Anthony went and fixed it, albeit three days later: returns the stuff, talks the bill down from $$$ to $, and paid the balance. Good man.

GOOD: I finally caved and bought my $20 worth of unlimited yoga classes for a week. For a long time I have said I need to start doing yoga, as I am rather young yet not very limber and kind of brittle. As I work towards better health in the food area, it would do my body well to bend around a little bit. I also like things that make you calm, because mellow is my favorite emotion. As Portland slowly does its delivish work and as my shoulders sink farther and farther from my ears, I figured yoga would be the perfect thing to put me right over the top. The top of mellowness.

I went first thing Saturday morning, showing up before they had even unlocked the door. The classes are drop-in type of things. One gets the impression that one can attend any class at any time; do-ability is addressed by suggestion. “If you need a more intense stretch, try bending your leg and pushing in with your stomach. If this is a hard pose for you, try spreading your feet a little more.” The Saturday AM class was filled with older people, which I was actually comforted by. Some of them were fantastically better than me at things, but it was also nice to hear the gentleman in the back struggling with some of the poses that I also struggled with.

I went to a different class Monday night that was waaay more intense, lots of sweating and shaking limbs. That would be a good diffuser of anger waves, but on a relatively calm evening right before bedtime it instead sort of wound me up and I had trouble sleeping that night. So I think I am a gentle morning yoga person. For now, or until I have a job that stresses me out sometimes.

GOOD: My neighborhood. I keep leaving the immediate area I live in to run errands or to just see what there is to see, and I keep thinking no, I like my area better. This is good since while I still am in that kind of prospective house-hunter mode (less of that is happening now that I’m getting settled in, but when you do it for months on end it takes awhile to shake out.) I don’t for one second want to leave my gorgeous little place. And even if I did it’s nice to know that I would want something in my immediate neighborhood. It frightens me a little how well my craigslist-roulette worked out for me on this one. There are so many other SE PDX areas I’ve looked through now, recalling various prospective addresses, and I keep coming to the same conclusion: I am exactly where I want to be. I don’t know how that happened, but I am so grateful that it did.

Furthermore: it is amazing to me that although I’ve been here almost a month now, I really haven’t left Portland much. This is not a big deal to normal city dwellers, but for someone who came from Nowhere, Northern Colorado, this is a wonderful, magical new thing. In Greeley almost every weekend saw us in a different town than where we lived. If we needed to do anything one had to be very creative to swing it close by; even the nearest fast food joint was a good 8 minute drive. Here I just haven’t needed to go anywhere far, because everything I’ve needed has been right here. I’ve only left Portland’s city limits twice: once for the farm adventure (see last entry,) and once on a whim a few nights ago, thinking I would go catch the Rushdie reading at the Powell’s in Beaverton, but chickened out when I thought about how tired I was. And how lame Beaverton is. (Comparatively! I’m sure it’s a fantastic area, it looks gorgeous — reminds me of the neighborhood Mom lives in down in the Springs. Which um, says plenty. I am not into that neighborhood. I fit in here, where the buildings are stacked and where the men clank up the streets pushing shopping carts filled with cans come and root around in the recycle bins, their radios blasting salsa music up into the air. Where the roads go places. Etc.) While I haven’t really left Portland — I’ve hardly left my neighborhood, really — I keep seeing stuff! New stuff! Every day! When it doesn’t have me grinning like a maniac on the street (to myself. Mostly.) it has me relaxing happily in the green chair in the evenings with a cup of tea or a glass of wine, listening to Charles Mingus and positively humming with delight.

One last caveat and then I will let up: in my neighborhood, there are flowers of every color. And I don’t mean there are some red things, a couple blue things, some yellow. I mean every spectrum of the wheel is visible. They are almost visible in just the roses alone. There are so many different shades of, say, red: pinky-red, deep blood red, orangey red, red-red, and the different lights and darks within that. It boggles the mind, to think this is possible.

GOOD: I leave for Denver and then Ireland here in two days.

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Adventure Sunday

I’m listening to The Splendid Table, and they just recommended a coffee shop in Portland. That is less than a mile from my house. Oh hell yes.

One of my favorite things about this place is the food. I can’t afford to eat out like I want to every day, but that still means I am cooking with ingredients that are top-notch. Oregonians like their cows, chickens and pigs happy, because happy animals make tasty meat. The vegans and vegetarians like happy veggies and fruits so that those creations will also be in peak flavor. Between the numerous farmer’s markets and small grocery co-ops in my neighborhood, it is almost harder to get something factory-grown and pesticide-ridden than it is to get the real stuff.

And when that isn’t enough, there are opportunities to go get it yourself.

I-405

Drove on some new bridges to get to this farm, to pick some strawberries.

first patch

See those people? Waaay over there? That was the first patch. Farmer Don himself told me that those were a treasure hunt, but there would be more further out, which is where I was headed.

on the way

On the way there. Isn’t it nice and farmy? Different plots lay fallow and have things that will ripen later in the season, so there isn’t a real map of where you’re going, you just kind of have to follow where the other people are. It should go without saying (except apparently it doesn’t) that they do not use any pesticides, no sprays, nothing. Just the bugs, dirt, and food.

strawberries!

This makes it look slightly better than it was — many of these berries were white on the back side. It’s still very early in the season (cold weather has pushed the ripeness back) so as you can see there are plenty of berries to come. Kind of slim pickings, especially if you wanted them ripe ripe, like I did. But! I didn’t mind! I squatted up and down those little rows for a long time.

Towards the edge of the patch, there was a small flock of some gorgeous little birds, that turned out to be waxwings. (WOW!! says my inner birding brain.)

waxwing

Of course, there were more familiar avian specimans too.

rooster

Near the chicken hutch, I also so some grey rats rooting around in the hay, which made me weirdly excited. There were two pigs in the barn, and between there somewhere there was a mop-haired kid who was talking to me about the chickens, pigs, and so on. I walked on to try and find the turtle pond, and instead found the bee houses.

bee houses

I didn’t get this close, this was using my zoom. There were tons of little bees all buzzing around and pollinating the little blossoms on the strawberry plants. I get a great kick out of honey bees. They have a very special place in my heart. These gals were good at sharing — they would skip a plant and then come back to it if you were there rooting around for a berry. On my way back, there was one that hitched a ride on the windshield wiper.

bzzt

Not sure what she was on about, maybe she wanted to warm up? She rode all the way over the bridge, and then hopped off as soon as I turned west. Because oh. It was just too pretty to go back after that — it was only noonish, and there was only 76 miles separating me from some seaside towns and turn upon turn of highway.

trees

I didn’t actually make it to the sea, I spent too much time ogling the river. I turned off at Astoria and poked around their Sunday Market. It was a bit cold anyway, and I was getting sleepy. I found a coffee and got back to the helm. It was mostly the driving for me, today. The driving and the strawberries.

riverfront

haul

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Those were the days and so are these

I have been away from the radio for almost a week now.

My beloved music device, Philco, has a rather flimsy wire “antenna” that now cannot get me a good clear signal. I was hoping it was my location, since back at the old house I had trouble with reception in certain rooms, particularly after they changed the frequency. But I’ve walked around the apartment with the little kitchen radio now that it’s unpacked, and the consensus is the problem lies within Philco, not within my reception. (Also, I live pretty much in the heart of the metro area. So, poor reception from OPB would not only be highly unlikely, it would certainly not be tolerated in my neighborhood.) So that’s a bummer. I am slipping off the bandwagon in terms of news — I somehow missed Obama winning the democratic nomination until a few days later, which sends my heart a-flutter because I was genuinely worried about that. But also, I am strangely…not missing the radio.

Where I came from, public radio was not a priority. It had almost no funding, and what money it had went to entertainment type programs on the weekends, filling up the entire weekday and most of the weeknights with music programming. A lot of this was “diverse music,” which was the local two or three radio people playing CDs all day long. Occasionally they would go off on a Bach tangent, but for the most part it was a pretty good mix of things, kind of like if someone with roughly my taste and a far more elaborate music library sat down and did “shuffle all” five days a week for six hours. It used to infurate some of my friends who came from other places, claiming they could get music anywhere. But I was always of the opinion that if you can hear Yo-Yo Ma and Blue Man Group in the same set, the music can’t be all that bad. The nightly routine was nice as well — World Cafe came on at around 8, and then Echoes came on at 10 which was occasionally unbearable, but did always my signal to dim all the lights and wind down for the evening.

It’s nice to have routines. And I was open to the fact that the bulk of this routine would be disrupted when I moved here. No question. I was ready for a change of scheduling. What I was not ready for however, was a complete lack of weekday music programming.

Um, which again. I’m not being a hater. If anything I am kind of relieved to live in an area that has an opinion about stuff and wants to talk about it on the radio. But. This means that I need to find something new to listen to during the bulk of the day, since I cannot (yet) abide the yammering on and on about “what I think about this,” because where I came from that was always of the Rush Limbaugh variety, and it hurts me to hear it on the radio. I have a built in aversion to the auditory opinion column. At least right now. I’m sure once I’m broken in it will be just fine. Until then though, I am on slight music withdrawal.

Anthony's dream

This is going to sound really dumb — but I think I need to take a vacation. Yes, you heard me. I am unemployed in a city that is my wet dream, and I need a vacation from being on this vacation. Before I actually go on vacation, here in about two weeks. It feels petty and lame. But even on the days when I think I am going to take a break from unpacking and moving furniture and fretting about how I am going to pay the bills next month and just go on an adventure today I wear myself out getting there. Friday I wanted to simply drive over to a fabric store, and I did. But on the way I saw all this stuff! And then I got there and whoa, there was so much fabric! Fabric by real designers in patterns I had never seen! Being sold for prices I should never pay! But it was vast and big and beautiful and whoa there I go, getting all overwhelmed again.

I kind of feel like The Berenstain Bear’s Too Much Birthday.

The other thing is — Thursday I felt the first pang of oh! Anthony’s not here. I have been very much aware of this the whole time of course, but I hadn’t actually had much time to thinking about it. Thursday was a lot of feet dragging, feeling small, and the lonely. It occurs to me that without the helpful device of work or school it is harder to make friends, as there is no common life situation thing immediately apparent. That’s a little overwhelming.

That night I was going to go to some live music but I bailed at the last minute and went to an open mic. And that was good. Got my eyes off myself and onto other people, got my fingers working — drawing some real stuff for the first time here. That was helpful. Yes indeed.

All the ships that have been hanging out in the river for the rose festival (an event that I have mostly ignored — there is always next year) will be leaving tomorrow! I heard an announcement on the radio: 5-6am, again at 9am, and 11-11:15am! I’m supposed to hang around my house and receive furniture, (the LAST bout, I should hope,) but surely it won’t arrive that early. I think I’d like to watch some ships sail away.

The Rose Festival kept catching me in small ways. When Mom and I walked along the riverfront before they left, we admired the many strange boats and carnival sights. Then yesterday I drove around aimlessly and ended up downtown while the floats from the parade were leaving. I was kind of trapped for a while, but took advantage of it. I pulled off, paid for parking, and wandered around aimlessly on foot. I didn’t accomplish much. I need to get a proper map of downtown and get a sense of it — I kept ending up in streets lined with shabby warehouses. I did make it up to the Whole Foods past Powell’s for lunch (must remember this! 2 dollar salad just the way I want it!) and chatted with an older gent who was down from Seattle. He asked me what I was reading, asked if I’d bought my book at Powell’s, because any blue-blooded Portland resident would only buy from Powell’s, no? Evidently. It made me smile. It would be like going to Seattle and asking if locals bought their cranberries and granola they were snacking on at the Pike’s Place market.

Then later I set up the sewing stuff to make some headway. That felt good.

quilt

There are a lot of parks and things in the area. I knew that anyway, but I started digging around for something outdoorsy and my mind, she is blown. Aside from the zoo, museums, and the famous gardens (for the moment I will stick with my neighbor’s creations) there are a plethora of state parks, forests, wildlife reserves, and all that goodness. The weather forcasts showers, but so far? Time to take advantage of what looks like it will be a beautiful day.

good morning

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Natural garlic Olympus

I was thinking wine hits me harder out here. Twice now I’ve woken up with that distinct fuzzy tongue feeling that usually does not accompany a short evening. And it wouldn’t make sense anyway, since there’s more oxygen here, yes? Or have I got it backwards? Ah, but then I remembered that when you’re drinking it by yourself at the computer or with a book, you’re more likely to reach for the glass again as opposed to when you’re talking and moving around with someone on the stoop outside, when you’re focused on talking and then savoring a sip, especially if the bottle’s inside.

Stoop drinking is a wine activity while reading a book is a tea activity in my head. So my brain has not yet caught up to the fact that I don’t need to sip it down before it gets cold, because in fact, the wine is at room temperature. This is another reason why I tend to drink like an old man — big hardy drinks that most of my other friends wouldn’t touch with a ten foot straw — because I need it to taste like alchohol. Not like hops and foul things, (sorry beer, maybe we can still be friends?) but I need the complexity and the burn and the notable difference, so that there is no question in my mind when I reach for the glass. However, that eats into the pocket book, and the other thing I don’t need is to turn into a raging drunk, so this mostly means I need to only buy the wine to go with food for a while, and stick to tea with my books. At least until Anthony visits.

It’s a strange place to be in right now — I’ve had two people today tell me that they are envious of my life. It’s flattering, yes, but also kind of strange when you really think about it. If I saw someone whose life I envied, I would tell them maybe, but I would also work hard to appropriate what bits of their life I found enviable and incorporate that into my own. If I weren’t living somewhere I loved I would move somewhere I did love, or I would work to make where I was a better place. If I were stuck in a dead-end job I didn’t enjoy, I would look for a new one, or fix what made me unhappy about my own job. And so on.

But that might just be me assuming a certain amount of flexibility. I am young, I don’t have children, and I have a strong enough relationship to follow my own agenda while still being supported and loved from afar. (Until he can join me out here, natch.) I have parents supporting my decision, so that my destitution is still comfortable. I do not for one moment take for granted that I am very lucky to have all this. Not at all. So perhaps I should stop dispensing the dime-store epiphanies and make with the pictures.

dinner yesterday

My building is vented in such a way that I can smell everyone’s cooking. Around dinner time the door need only be open a sliver for the aromas to come lolling in like a fog, churning my disorganized (and thus not cooking) stomach with desire. So I finally buckled down and added my two cents to the mix yesterday. This is a mushroom chicken thing, loosely based on this recipe. Loosely because I didn’t have Marsala so I used this rather crappy Zin I picked up at Trader Joe’s (shameful, that. I will have to try it again with something good,) and because I used a thigh, not a breast, and because I sort of eyeballed all the ingredients, since I was making one, not four. It turned out pretty delicious.

snail

Terrible picture of the awesome snails they we have here.

star wars

I took a long bus-and-light-rail ride out to Ikea yesterday, to start day one of my Furniture Ordeal. (More on this later.) While I was standing around waiting for the train, I noticed a bit too late that there was some sort of Star Wars event happening behind me. As in, there were people standing all over the bench/wall for publicity photos, stepping around me, and I was wondering what the hell they were doing and then I look and oh my God it’s Chewbacca. I didn’t see Vader until it was time to get on the bus so I had to leave right then and there, so my photos are scant. I need to check the paper and see what that was all about.

over the river

Aw, you’re so cute when you’re a recovering resident of the desert like that.

Oh boy. Have I mentioned I love it here? Anthony calls and tells me about how nice the weather is in Greeley, it only got up to the mid-eighties today!, and I burn with happiness that I am up here with another drizzly day in the 60’s. My windows are open and I have a sweatshirt on and it’s June! Yes indeed.

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