THE GREATEST PART OF MY GREAT DREAM LAST NIGHT
Dustin Hoffman (in Megorium character, though not dressed as such) appears, cooking bacon for me in a pan over “low” heat in my living room. He breaks off pieces as they cook before they burn, which I think is a very good idea. He is telling me things, things about life, and he breaks into a list of All Things, and mentions “rabbit backup”. The young boy (?) asks, “rabbit backup?”
[Dustin Hoffman, with deadpan gravity, whilst turning a rather large piece of bacon that looks a lot like a lobster]: “Yes! Just think, we could lose all our rabbits all in a single blow. It’s frightening! I don’t want to think about this, I want to think about balloons.”
Why do I always cut the roof of my mouth with frozen pizza crust? Presumably this does not teach me to eat frozen pizza less, hence the use of the word “always”. TRY AGAIN, COSMOS.
I only ate one fifth of the pizza. Well, roughly one fifth — I had to sort of eyeball it and so really it was a little less than a forth since I didn’t read the serving sizes until AFTER I cut the thing into slices. I would have cut it into fifths if I’d have known. I observed serving sizes today, as an experiment, since lately my hypoglycemic requirement to basically eat all day has not been jiving with my actual appetite. And nothing sucks more than eating when you aren’t hungry, and then later binging on something ultimately unhelpful (blood-sugarly speaking) like cheezits. Normally I can be pretty liberal with my diet, but this weekend was pretty rocky and that plus stress a healthy/happy Maggie does not make. So today I ate precisely on the multiples of three, (6am, 9am, 12, 3pm..) and I observed the serving sizes. This makes it sound like I’m shifting psychosis, from schizotypal to OCD, but parish the thought: I see it as a game rather than Something I Have To Do, and I fudge it enough for some of my genuinely OCD pals to get twitchy. And it is an oddly satisfying exercise to measure your cereal to get exactly one cup of multi-grain cheerios. It is not really about cutting down on the food so much making sure I eat enough when I want to skimp on meals, and that I don’t throw myself off by gorging on something if I have. Skipped a meal, that is. And! Seeing if the USDA regulations constitute “enough”. Regulations! Regularity! Yea Verily! I hope to carry out a fuller report later this week.
I AM COLD
How cold am I? I wore thick stockings, with my skirt, a knitted woolen sweater which I covered with a wool blazer most of the day, and walked to school with a scarf and gloves despite the fact that it was a rather pleasant 45*F. This is no good, since we are but on the cusp of Real Winter, when it actually gets cold — subzero cold — and if I am wimping out now o ho ho I am in for a rude awakening.
Currently I am fully dressed, plus an additional sweater, plus my bathrobe. The tip of my nose is cold. My toes are cold, despite the shows and socks. What the hell, body. Shape up. My house has been at 62*F which is about where I like it, but apparently the low end of room temperature is technically 64*F, according to Google, so I suppose I should crank it up a few notches and leave it there come what may. No sense in enduring a drop in the core body temperature or anything to drastic for the sake of saving five dollars on my gas bill. I can cut corners in less life-threatening ways.
Work was much better than I had been anticipating. I did have a slight panic when I realized, again, that I will be OUT OF THE OFFICE from Dec. 16 – 23 (or possibly 26, depending on how Christmas fits in and how well my minion does) and oh God have I trained her enough? Will she do okay on her solo test run next week? Then I ate part of a Twix and felt better. (Hmm, no wonder I was having some sugar problems…)
Later there was a quick meeting with myself and two important people at my desk. There was no reason for me to be involved really, since it was a business office issue that didn’t even have anything to do with money but rather inches printed/booked, and other abstract things that I never deal with yet are undoubtedly important. I did my best to calm person #1 down, but she needed to hear it from person #2, which was fine, though I wasn’t sure why she wanted it done around my desk. But she was put at ease and if my presence helped, well godspeed. Then I had some words with person #2, who is really my boss even though my timecard claims otherwise, and we affirmed some stuff and she said she had full faith in me, blah blah blah you don’t care. But I did because I like it when other people notice I am doing a good job and tell me.
THINGS ARE LOOKING UP!
1. Mom found my cut of the Christmas ornaments. Neither of us could find them and this plus complications from The Great Thanksgiving Disaster had me in quite a state last night. I was absurdly close to tears. But Mom found them, and she is mailing them to me, and so my little scrawny tree will glow with the handmade ornaments I’ve grown up with, and all is well.
2. Anthony’s grad school essay seems to be working itself out, which is a relief for him and for me by extension. When you have chronic empathy like I do, it’s nice to see people working stuff out, and as a human being it’s nice to have a companion who’s happy.
3. My oral report I was worried about went swimmingly, and I finished two papers this morning. On to the next! I was strangely able to stay on task and get stuff done, which is rare for the sleep-deprived me. Huzzah!
